Today’s blog post will be a short one, to provide a good resource and some hope for sailing through the holidays without too much turmoil, inner or outer.
In particular I want to point you to a good, readable and generally applicable blog post from live happy with 7 sane tips for how to get through the holidays with more ease.
We can all benefit from the reminder that our struggles with family ongoing, and they won’t be resolved in a single visit or even when the Hannukah candles are burned down and the Christmas tree put away.
Adoptees and Family Challenges at the Holidays
I work with a lot of adoptees who have a variety of family relationships and difficulties. Maybe you are newly out of the fog, with all of the challenging feelings and revisions of your history that entails. Maybe you have been working to find yourself and establish a more truthful identity, and spending time with family over the holidays will be a test of whether or not they can accept you. Some of you have family members that pose real difficulties to your sense of self. Some of you will be practicing healthy boundaries, first making it clear what other people can and cannot do with you and then taking appropriate action if they will not respect your requests. Some of you are struggling with your cultural identity, how it has not been incorporated into your holiday rituals. Some of you are mourning.
Should I see a therapist?
The holidays can be difficult, and like any other day they can also be sources of small and large joys. If you feel you would benefit from talking with a professional, please seek out a therapist in your area to begin treatment, continue your work, or even for short term support and the insights that can come from sitting with someone who is trained to do this work and who is outside your family system.
If you are interested in working with me, contact me here.
New Therapy Group for Adult Adoptees
I also want to let people know that I’m starting a new group for adult adoptees in late January, 2020; it will run weekly for 16 sessions through the late spring on Monday nights from 7:00-8:30 at my office in Manhattan. If you want to explore whether group is right for you, please contact me and we can schedule a phone call and then a free consultation over the next few weeks.