A Healthy Self Love

Arthur C. Brooks, in his opinion piece this weekend for the New York Times entitled Narcissism is increasing. So you’re not so special writes:

A healthy self-love that leads to true happiness is what Rousseau called “amour de soi.” It builds up one’s intrinsic well-being, as opposed to feeding shallow cravings to be admired. Cultivating amour de soi requires being fully alive at this moment, as opposed to being virtually alive while wondering what others think. The soulful connection with another person, the enjoyment of a beautiful hike alone (not shared on Facebook) or a prayer of thanks over your sleeping child (absent a #blessed tweet) could be considered expressions of amour de soi.

There’s a lot more to say about how we develop amour de soi. Relational psychotherapy can grow our ability to do this.  Brooks has some suggestions about paying attention to our own needs and our own selves over the opinions of others and social media, which is a great start.  Therapy is an invitation to go deeper.